My mentor teacher is about to have a baby boy, so I will be taking charge (with a substitute) until January! I am a bundle of emotions! I’m really nervous and anxious and I’m a worrier, so my biggest concern is how the students will respond to me.
I know all 180ish of them now and feel like I’ve connected with them, but I’m afraid that since I am “young” they won’t take me as seriously. For the most part, I feel like I can handle all my classes, there’s just this one class that makes me nervous. They’re not bad students, they just talk a lot! ALL THE TIME! And it’s usually having to do with the class, but since it is such a large class, it’s hard to control them all! There’s a lot of time spent trying to get the class under control, on task, and quiet. Should be interesting!
I recently had a breakdown because I didn’t pass my subject area test. It’s the third time I’ve taken it. It really brings me down because I know my subject and I know that I can teach it well, but for some reason I can’t seem to pass this exam! I definitely think it’s test anxiety. I’ve never done well when it comes to these big exams. The pressure of them weighs really heavily and I think I just blank when it’s in front of my face. I cried for about thirty minutes in my car after I found out. It just makes my self-esteem plummet and it makes me doubt my knowledge. I just feel like I’ve let not only myself down, but my university down too. One of my professors is going to tutor me though, so hopefully I will pass this next time!
We’re on Fall Break now for 2 weeks, so I have a good amount of time to get myself together and prepared to teach and fly solo for awhile! I just have to make sure I’m completely prepared, and I know I will be! Creating some Prezi’s to keep them more engaged and I’m trying to figure out fun ways to teach some subjects, but it’s hard!
Anyway, update later! Gonna go read some!